About Me

I'm Kayla. I dont know what I want to do with my life. But here you can follow me on my journey.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Lately I have been feeling as if I cant make anyone happy. I never have been able to, and even now when I try to better someones life and help them make the right decisions they blow it right back into my face. Is it wrong of me to try to help someone else? I just want others to have an enriched life. Mine, on the other hand, I dont think it will ever be. I struggle everyday to feel good about myself. Nothing helps, changes. No one goes out of their way to make me happy, no one tries to make me happy. Meanwhile I am struggling to do everything I can to make the people around me as happy as they can be. I am constantly walked all over and trampled upon because other people see me as a target. Maybe thats all I was put upon life for. To be a target. To enrich others lives and destroy my own. I find no happiness lies within me after these last few days. I dread waking up, I dread going to sleep. I dread knowing it will be a new day. Because with every new day comes a great amount of anger that is thrown upon me. Everyone around me is enjoying where they are and what they are doing, I am struggling to stay happy. I was happy at one time, and because of that happiness I thought maybe I was past depression. I think it was just bundled up inside me because I couldnt cope with how much I hated myself.

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