Self Consciousness. :/

Advice anyone?

I was really excited for cheerleading to start this year, in hopes of becoming the flyer. I was told previously I probably would do it. So in an attempt to secure my spot as a flyer, instead of my current position as a base, I started losing weight.

This is not the first time I've done this, and every time it is for a different reason. A part of it is that I can not seem to grasp the fact I'm not as young as I once was, and one day I have to weigh over 120.

*Runs to bathroom to weigh herself*

Right now, I weigh 115.4
I'm 5'5 3/4.

The first time I ever had an "anorexic burst" as I call it, was when I was 12 years old. I went to the beach with my best friend, she was skinnier than me, but also two years younger, and i wanted to be like her. So, I didn't eat for 3 days straight.
Since then I've had several "anorexic bursts", but not in an attempt to be like someone else. In attempt to make myself "happier". Which it never does.

I try so hard to be happy as who I am. I mean for heaven sake, I have braces now. I'm almost beautiful. I will be able to smile and feel good about not having crowding, uneven, or just plain weird looking teeth. I'm one of the few teenagers that begged their parents for braces.

I want to eat food, I really do. But my stomach can not seem to handle it.
The complete amount of food I've eaten today:
Cracker lunchable- dinner
applesauce- desert

I think we have a problem.
The loss of appetite is not just affecting me, my mom and my clothes are noticing the change.

I put on my favorite belt today, a black studded belt, its normally tight on the smallest notch. Today, the belt was so loose I could turn it around my hips and instead of holding my pants up. It was just weight.

Someone, anyone, please help me.

I do not want counseling, please do not suggest it.
Just a few changes I can make, that might help.

Please.
Kayla.